We are reposting the following reflection by Darrah Rhinehart, becuase she captures so nicely her struggle between the perfectionist she strives to be and the realistic limits imposed by uncontrollable circumstances. She reminds all of us to be kind and patient with ourselves as we work to do our best under difficult circumstances.
Unraveling Pedagogy
Darrah Rhinehart
“If you start that scarf over one more time, I’m going to lose it,” my husband joked as he watched me tear apart the scarf I was knitting for him until it was nothing more than a jumbled pile of yarn. I couldn’t help it. My knitting hobby was only two days old, but my sense of perfectionism kept getting in my way. I spent hours trapped in the cycle of knitting, erring, tearing out stitches, and completely starting over.
I knew my husband was right. If I kept restarting, I would probably never finish the scarf. However, I found myself unable to fully let go of my sense of quality control. After much frustration, I eventually compromised. I became skilled enough at basic knitting that I could spot a mistake and take out only the stitches back to that point. Mistakes still occurred, but I learned to overlook the smaller ones and to keep going. Yes, there were bumpy stitches here and there, but I made progress because I was no longer completely destroying my effort and starting from scratch each time.
Teaching is a bit like this for me this year as my district bounces between hybrid and remote instruction. Lessons that I love, that I have spent years building, are not designed for hybrid or remote settings. At the start of the school year, I felt a tremendous pressure to completely start over in planning lessons for my classes so that they would work in new formats and with unfamiliar technology. This was an exhausting and discouraging way to teach. It also felt incredibly unnatural because I was abandoning lessons that were successful in the past. I was so caught up in the idea of my lessons having to be designed differently that I lost sight of what made the lessons work in the first place, which, at the most basic level was my ability to be a real person with my students. My need to try to control technology, an often uncontrollable variable, periodically shifted my focus from genuinely engaging with students and from working through issues and transforming unplanned moments into instances of value and mutual understanding.
However, just as I found the value in knitting past small mistakes to maintain progress and in tearing out only a few rows of stitches instead of all of them, I began to realize that the same approach could work with teaching. Instead of casting off a lesson entirely (look, I made a knitting pun) because I was afraid it wouldn’t work, I needed the courage to keep knitting past the small bumps to get to a more refined final product.
A strong lesson is tight, like knitting that boasts even stitches and congruence. It must also have the flexibility to be manipulated. Like my knitting, I needed to unravel my lessons to the point where the stitches started to get messy. And I needed to be okay with the fact that even a perfectly designed lesson can fall flat, especially in a remote learning situation.
Every teacher assesses lessons and tweaks them. That’s natural. What isn’t natural is expecting perfection, like I did with my knitting and with my teaching. Perfection isn’t feasible because, though starting from scratch repeatedly does provide experience, if that experience comes at the cost of growth and adaptability, then the experience suddenly has less value. The cost also manifests in something that is usually enjoyable becoming frustrating.
It doesn’t have to be that way. I don’t like feeling out of control. I like my knitting in nice, tidy stitches that line up perfectly. This year, though, I have had to let go of that rigid ideal. After my husband chastised me for restarting his scarf (again), he told me, “I don’t want a scarf that’s perfect. I want a scarf that’s real.” That’s the way it is with teaching. I don’t need to be a teacher who is perfect. I need to be a teacher who is real; a teacher who isn’t afraid to experiment, even in an unfamiliar pedagogical landscape; who learns from her mistakes and can keep going (and allowing students to see that very human process is priceless all by itself); who can look critically at her lessons and unravel them just far enough to the weak spots before she moves forward, forging stronger and more confident pathways than before. And, most importantly, a teacher who learns to love the bumps in her pedagogy and what she and her students learn from them, no matter the method of instruction.
Maria,
Thank you for your sharing! I like how you recognized your desire to continue to use the lessons that that you loved and decided that it was worth having some “bumps in the road” as you figured out how to implement them in an online context. This is encouraging as a pre-service teacher – to feel confident in what I am passionate about and to be okay with sometimes figuring out to how to make ideas work as I am implementing them if it is not possible to create the “perfect lesson” beforehand.
Sister Marie Thérèse
First, I just want to say that the scarf/knitting analogy is perfect for this blog about creating lessons for students! After reading this blog post, I was able to learn a few tips to my teaching philosophy. As a pre-service educator and a student during the pandemic, I was able to see both sides of the struggle teachers and students faced when implementing lessons online. Teachers had the hard job of trying to deal with all this on-top of actually teaching their students. This blog reminded me that no one is perfect -especially in tough situations. Taking things step by step and looking at the overall picture my be helpful. Teachers also have a large support system with each other. Even though I am not a teacher yet, I still have my professors, my colleagues, and cooperating teachers in the community to guide me and help me with questions I have. Together we can see what works and what does not. This way we can implement and build upon lessons that best fit the needs of the students.
Maria,
As a fellow perfectionist and knitting fanatic, I can most certainly relate to your struggle! Instead of focusing on the bigger picture and allowing for flexibility and progress, I so often get caught up in the little details. I want everything to be perfect, but sometimes it is more important to be authentic and practical. Thank you for the reminder!
Your analogy between knitting and the previous school year is so true! It is important for all educators to realize that mistakes during lessons are okay. Mistakes and small bumps throughout a lesson can be used in the future to make our other lessons more effective and run more smoothly. Remote learning is still a new way to teach, so it’s going to take time to get the lessons meant for in person learning to run correctly and make an impact through a computer screen. As a future teacher and perfectionist, this article is just what I needed. No, my lessons are not always going to be perfect, but I can always be a teacher that is real for their students.
To read about teaching and the struggles that come with it from your perspective was honestly so refreshing for me. It gave me a lot of security for the season of life I am in with beginning my masters in education. It has been somewhat scary beginning this journey because of my undergraduate degree being in psychology, but I am so excited to see the final project. Having such a great visual of the knitting analogy with teaching was a great way to grasp the underlying message that we, as teachers and human beings, are always going to have issues that present themselves before us, but hopefully we are able to grow and learn from our mistakes. We will never be perfect, but we can be real and show that to the others around us.
I think for so many teachers it is easy to desire perfection, especially because we are trying to help our students. I really admire your ability to see the flaws in a lesson and be able to move past them in a benificial manner. I often struggle with the same problems so thank you for sharing and for supplying some relief to a fellow perfectionist. Personally the reminder that not having to restart the whole lesson and being able to simply breakdown a lesson to correct it is very beneficial. I think your comparison to knitting was drawn out very well, and I hope you were able to impliment this in your classroom.
Thank you Maria for this sharing this post. What I really liked is how this post is more than just about teaching. You will go through bumps in life and you should not lose have doubt on yourself just because it is not perfect. You learn from the mistake or bump and you do what you can at your best ability. This was a great post! It kinda gave more goosebumps and motivation because you are so right about stop trying to perfect and just be real.
I love this philosophy and how “no teaching is going to be perfection” is the big topic with in this discussion. It is very important to understand that no teaching/lesson will be exactly perfect or how you planned it would be, but that is the beauty of it. We all make mistakes, the sooner we make that known to our students, the sooner our students will trust us and be okay with making mistakes.
Thank you for sharing!
I found your analogy between knitting and teaching to be really interesting, and it was very helpful to me; even though I crochet and do not knit. It made me think about how, as teachers, we have the education and training to spot the little details that just ‘aren’t perfect’ and then magnify them; usually in order to try and ‘fix’ them but instead find other problems to address. It made me think about my own yarn creations, toys based off of video game characters, and how I, as the creator, always see the little details where I made a mistake; only to find out, when I give the creation to people those who asked for them, they do not see these mistakes but instead see what I created as a whole. I think this goes really well with teaching, and it is something one has to keep in mind. Granted, you might see a lesson and think ‘oh no I put too much time into this area and now there’s less time here’ only to find out that this arrangement of time was more natural overall. Or maybe you find out during the lesson that students’ interest followed a small part in your lesson while ignoring the larger whole you were aiming for and or vice-versa. In all it is a matter I think if looking at the whole project and saying ‘well does this do what it needs to do, and does it do it well?’ instead of saying ‘does this do what it needs to do, and does it do it perfectly?’
The analogy here about starting a new hobby and connecting it to teaching is something I can relate to a lot. I am still studying to be a teacher, but I am almost there, and I know how to knit. I went through the same process of being frustrated with my work because there were mistakes, and boy did I want it to be perfect. Even though I am not in the field of Education yet, I can see how that analogy fits very well. I really liked what you said here, “I need to be a teacher who is real; a teacher who isn’t afraid to experiment, even in an unfamiliar pedagogical landscape; who learns from her mistakes and can keep going (and allowing students to see that very human process is priceless all by itself); who can look critically at her lessons and unravel them just far enough to the weak spots before she moves forward, forging stronger and more confident pathways than before“. One of the most important parts is where you talked about the human experience of trial and error and trying again when things do not work. This is something that is so important for the students to see. As teachers, or future teachers, we want our students to not only take away the content that they have learned, but possibly more importantly, to take away how they learned how to learn. We will spend all our life learning, making mistakes, and trying again, and if they know to never give up and never be afraid to try new things, they will be very successful and very confident learners.
Thank you for sharing your story and thoughts on this topic of unraveling pedagogy. This article really resonated with me as not only am I a pre-service teacher and a knitter, but also a perfectionist. I relate to always feeling like I need to be in control of everything that is happening, and I become easily upset when things do not go according to plan. When reading this article, a question came to mind from one of education classes. The question: “As you reflect on teachers you have encountered in life, who stands out because they seemed especially wise? What qualities made them seem wise; what did you learn from them?” This article so clearly explained the exact reason why I loved some of my teachers and thought them so wise. They were honest with me. They did not try and be perfect for me. They were real with me and the realness not only in academics but personally made them the wisest teachers. They were not afraid to adapt their teaching based on what my classmates and I needed. What I have learned most in my time in field experience, is that flexibility is crucial as a teacher. Teachers must be adaptable to circumstances and hurdles thrown at them to best meet student needs. Lessons is a balance of tightness as well as flexibility. I look forward to bringing this metaphor of knitting for teaching with me as I continue on my teaching journey.
Every teacher should read this article! Teaching is an ongoing learning process and we cannot expect perfection from every lesson. That is what makes teaching so rewarding – we are constantly able to improve and adjust to accommodate our students. Just like we cannot expect our students to be perfect, neither can we expect ourselves as teachers to be perfect. Mistakes are part of the learning process and should be used as a tool to create a classroom that values quality lessons.
Hi Maria!
As a preservice teacher and college student who has begun field experience, it is such a relief to read your words. I have always felt this pressure that before I can be a good teacher I must be perfect and have every single detail of my lessons worked out. I am also someone who struggles with the want for control. And really focusing back on why I want to be a teacher, which is to serve and build relationships with the students, helps me realize that to be an effective teacher I need to first and foremost build a trusting mutual respect teacher to student relationship. Thank you for sharing, and for your wisdom!
-Gianna Faraj
As an education student, and a fellow perfectionist, I am encouraged and relieved to hear this. Similar to your experiences and feelings as you described, I often feel that if something is not done perfectly, it is not worth doing at all. When things don’t go the way I plan or when I have to change something on the fly, I get stressed out and feel like a failure. But, as you suggested, this is in fact the way we learn and grow. Especially in the art of teaching, these experiences are precisely how we can learn which lessons work best, which do not work at all, and how our students respond to certain activities, teaching styles, and pedagogy. “I don’t need to be a teacher who is perfect. I need to be a teacher who is real.” This particular line really speaks to me. Through trial and error, experimentation and spontaneity, though mistakes are inevitable, I get to participate in professional development as well as model an attitude of continual learning for my students. Thanks for the wise words!
I found this article extremely relatable and well written. I am very type A and a perfectionist, so I always get frustrated when doing projects. My issue is not that I am a procrastinator, but it just takes me longer to finish projects because I scrap and restart them so frequently. Once I went to college, however, I realized how much of an issue this can be. With so many deadlines and projects overlapping, it just isn’t realistic to make sure each one is perfect. I truly realized this last year, and ever since I have been working on being okay with a project that isn’t completely perfect so long as I am being the most productive I can be.
I’m still training to become a teacher, but I still found your story to be incredibly relatable. I’m most certain a perfectionist, and, whenever I draw on my free time, I have the desire to start completely over on my art whenever I make a mistake that seems too big to fix. It might seem easier at times to start from scratch rather than adjusting what was already been made, but we usually do not get the luxury to start over. I admire your commitment in trying to adjust your lesson plans and methodology to fit an online reliant world. I think, as a student still learning to become a teacher, I can learn how to adapt to difficult situations like you did.
Joseph, Aisline, Emily, Jacquelyn, Gianna, Mary Kate, and Lydia, It seems like a lot of us have perfectionistic tendency and can be hard on ourselves when things don’t turn out exactly as we planned. Darrah’s essay on knitting touched me the way it did you, in terms of being patient and kind to myself and taking pride in doing the best I could given the circumstances I was in. After finishing this post, I’m going to register for a beginning crochet class. I’m gong to keep Darrah’s words and your in mind as I end up with a tangled ball of yarn that will bear little resemblance to the lovely afghan I’m imagining. As I reflect on your comments, it seems to me there is a delicate balance between challenging students to do the best they are capable of and helping them to not feel like failures when they don’t quite hit the mark. Finding that balance for each student can be so challenging, but also incredibly rewarding. Keep up the great thinking. Maria
Thanks, everyone, for your comments on “Unraveling Pedagogy.” I’m delighted that so many of you found the piece relatable! Education seems to be a field that lends itself to perfectionists; reading that others understood and even shared this way of thinking reminded me that I’m not alone. Wherever you are on your journey as a teacher, be kind to yourself. Give yourself permission to laugh and learn with your students, and to be a real person with them. Some days that is easier said than done. Those are the days when I need to remind myself that sometimes learning is messy . . . and so is teaching!
What a great analogy! As the saying goes, “perfection is the enemy of progress” and this article ties in so well with that phrase. As a teacher, I would imagine it could take a couple of years to get into a steady groove of the material you have come up with and teaching strategies that work best in the classroom. Having to switch from a teaching style that you know, is uncomfortable. I believe that everyone, teachers, students, parents, etc. all struggled with that ‘uncomfortable change’ we went through during the pandemic. My time in quarantine and having to learn to change my mindset on my personal learning style was difficult at times. I cannot even imagine being on the other side of that as a teacher. I loved this article because it is a great reminder to not completely throw everything you have worked on away due to a bump in the road. Instead, take what you can from the solid foundation of teaching strategies you have built and learn to adjust. Tweak areas that need modifying but learn to work with what you have!
I think this analogy for how there is a desire to be perfect when it comes to teaching is important to know and understand when thinking about the practical side of the lessons that I will be teaching and the way they will evolve over my years as a teacher. I think this will be a good reminder for myself in the future once I am instructing a class, because of my own desire to make my lessons as perfect as possible, even when that is not always possible. I think it is also important to know that instead of “throwing away” any of my lesson ideas, sometimes all that needs to happen is remodeling it. In general, I also think it is good to know that there are many other teachers who have struggled with things, and that in my future years of teaching, especially early on, there will be many trials but all teachers have been through the same thing.